I lay upon my bed in tears, feeling sorry for myself and my condition. I felt the bed move slightly. I opened my swollen eyes and perceived a woman sitting at the foot. I did not trust my own vision and did not speak. “Is your sadness so profound that you cannot speak?” “No,” I said, “I did not know you were real and so did not address you.”
“You wonder who I am. I go by many names. Some call me Grandmother. Others call me Conscience. It is true I am old, even older than conscience or even consciousness.”
“Why have you honored me with your presence?”
“I was sent to help you. Your thinking is not right. You go against your own beliefs.”
“In what way?”
“You feel Fate has dealt you a great blow. Yet, you did not credit her for your success in the past.”
“I thought my cleverness had brought me happiness. Was this wrong?”
“You are clever but Fate is fickle, she is not like me. I always give my best to humankind. She is capricious. She raises one up while letting another fall. She knows nothing of Justice.”
“What can I do?”
“You can do much. Have you failed?”
“I think not. Jealous men have opposed me.”
“They brought your downfall?”
“This is what I have seen.”
“There is more to see. What inspires jealousy? Men see one who excels. They see them above and shoot arrows to bring them down. They find nothing in themselves to soar higher.”
“But why do those who have done no wrong have to suffer?”
“You have the answer within your grasp.”
I thought for a bit on her words. “Is it because they have not talent? They have risen by another means.”
“By what means?”
“By association with those who have risen. They encourage them with flattering words. The one flattered knows he is more lucky than skilled. He shows the flatterer the way to succeed. It involves a compromise with morality.”
“Is there more?”
“Yes,” I said, “He resents the man who applies skill and succeeds. It exposes the method that is devious and cannot hold up to bright daylight.”
“That may well be but now we come to your reaction to all of this. Are you sorry that you can’t compete against evil methods? Or are you sorry that goodness in not rewarded in this world?”🌎
“Your question confuses me. I do not know the answer.”
“Let us start in a different place. What is the most important thing in life?”
“Your questions are not easy. I think to have a clear conscience is the way to live in peace.”
“A fine answer. Now, why are you sad?”
“Because my good actions have had bad results.”
“You may be in a bad situation but is it a result of your good actions?”
“No. Should I blame Fate?”
“For what?”
“For my circumstances.”
“Have you seen others have bad results when doing good?”
“I have not looked for this.”
“There are many who suffer. Some from the their own actions, yes. But not all. Many have been tripped up while running. What was your goal?”
“Happiness, I suppose.”
“And what adds up to happiness?”
“Enjoying what you do. Gaining a benefit from your work. Having security.”
“Ah, I see the problem. You anticipared a secure foundation that would support your good efforts.”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
“And what is the secure foundation?”
“It can’t just be good luck.”
“No, Luck is no foundation.”
“I don’t know.”
“Let’s try and find one. Answer these three questions: where did your skill and ability come from? Why did you excel at what you do? What do you have that others do not?”
“The first is the hardest. I had an ability within me. I learned from others how to apply my natural ability. The others had experience. Others recognized my potential and gave me opportunity.”
“All you said is true, yet my question is not answered. Where did it come from? What is the source? Where do abilities come from to people?”
“Is the answer: God?”
“Well, can you say more?”
“If it doesn’t come from me, then it must come from another source. That source would be able to equip people to do something in their life. ”
“Yes, a benevolent Source. And this Source, is it intelligent?”
“It must be, because we are intelligent. It must also be good and wise and powerful.”
“Now, if this is your foundation, why do you think you have failed?”
“Because I am not happy.”
“So, happiness is the measure of a good life? Have you had no challenges in your life?”
“Yes, I have overcome a few setbacks.”
“What if this very moment was a gift to allow you to think about what is most important? And to evaluate whether you are going towards the best goal?”
“You are making me think harder than I ever have before.”
“That is my intention. You must have a goal that is worthwhile and attainable. Happiness is not a very good goal. Life is capricious, we have agreed. Your foundation and your goal must be of the same kind. Can you gain help from this God you have mentioned?”
“Wait, who sent you?”
“I must go now. You have enough to think on. Self pity will not help you. Gaining wisdom will.”
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