fantasy

Interviewing Adam

by leekierdorf
Me: We have Adam in the studio. The Adam. Adam: That’s right, Adam, The Adam. That’s me. Me: This is so cool. I have some questions! Adam: Yeah, sorry, I don’t do questions anymore. Me: Why not? Adam: Well, people didn’t like the answers for one thing. And, I mean, that was a real long time ago. Me: But I read your story many times. Adam: You know who hasn’t read it? Me. I never learned to read. I mean, someone read it to me. Me: How is it you speak perfect English? Adam: Am I? I know all the languages, except the Click one. I do get Spanish, and Portuguese mixed up sometimes. Listen, I’m working on a stand-up routine. Can I try a couple on you? Me: Sure, I guess so. Adam: Okay. Someone told me Neal Armstrong was the first man on the moon. I wasn’t impressed. (pause) I was the first man on earth! What? Nothing? Look, I’m not gonna start with that one. Eve said to me, “Are you seeing other women?” “I said, “No. There are no other women!” Do you even have a sense of humor? I can’t bomb again, like last time. Job has this club and he’s giving me another chance. He’s so patient, you know. Okay, try this one. Do you know the retirement age back then? It was 600. But I was ready. I invented the hammock, you know. It wasn’t easy. First, you have to plant two trees just the right distance apart. Then you have to wait 100 years… Me: That was a good one. Adam: So Eve says, Why don’t you pick some fruit for dinner? I said, Isn’t that your department? She said, Don’t start that again! I’ll gather some nuts, okay? She said, That sounds about right for you. Me: Really? Did that happen? Adam: No. We agreed to not talk about the past. I mean, why keep blaming each other? One more. Able said to Eve, I understand that I came from you, Mom, but where did you come from? She looks at me and says, Do you want to take that one, honey?   Look, I’m in a good mood. I’ll do one question. Me: Where did you sleep? Adam: Where did we sleep? That’s your question? At first, we slept on the ground. (pause) Near the river. You know, you should ask Eve your questions. I think she still answers questions. She’s around somewhere. Me: You aren’t together? Adam: Nobody is together! There’s no marriage here. Me: Oh, yeah. Adam: Just look for the best looking woman. Wait, I can use that. The best looking woman on earth. Come to Job’s Place. It’s right near the South Middle Gate. Me: Is there a cover charge? Adam: Cover charge? There’s no money! Did you skip Orientation? What about this? Eve says to me, The cave is chilly at night. (This was later on.) I said, What about the blanket? Eve says, Four sheepskins. And who sewed it? Why can’t you just invent indoor heat. I said, I’m working on it. What about my other inventions? The plow? The door? The potty? She said, You mean the Big Crooked Stick, The Heavy Rock and The Hole Too Far Away at Night? I said, Well, I’m more of a Namer than an Inventor, really. She said, Oh, yeah, like Wiggle-nose, Eight-legs and Long-neck. I said, Those are very descriptive names. She said, And, by the way, Eight-legs is still getting into the cave. I said, I’m working on that. Okay. now you’re laughing! Me: That is funny stuff. Adam: Catch me at Job’s Place. It’s mostly singing acts, a juggler, a plate spinner… I really don’t get that one. Right near the South Middle Gate. The pearl one. Wait, they’re all pearl. South Middle. Bye. (I have to tell Able this one, Where did you sleep?)

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Drowning Man

by leekierdorf

A man falls out of a ship at sea.

He will be soon be far behind the ship.

The ship is very big and would take a long time to turn around.

By the time the ship returned, the man would die in the icy waters.

Someone throws a ring with a rope attached.

It could be a lifesaver to him.

Then he calls out to the drowning man,

“Just grab anything. It is not important what it is. Just as long as you believe it will help you.”

Of course, he would not say that. He would more likely say, “Grab the ring!” The reason would be that the man could be pulled to safety with that ring. If the man grabbed a piece of wood floating by, it probably wouldn’t help him much. If the man waited for a friendly dolphin, he might freeze before it came.

The man has to grab the ring and hold on with all his strength. He would depend on the strength of the man who was pulling up the rope. And he only has a short time to make that decision.

Believe it or not, this is our condition. We have time to make a decision about what we will hold on to during our lifetime. But in the turmoil of the sea, it is hard to hear the voice that calls us to take hold of the only thing that will save us. We must make our decision like the man and hold on with all our strength. Our rescue depends on the strength of someone else to save us.

The ‘holding on’ is called ‘faith’. The rescuer is God Himself. He calls out to us to take hold of the only thing that can and will save us. But that Lifesaver is a person not a thing. And that person is much different from others. He is the same person that was in the beginning starting the human race. He has intervened many times and influenced many people all through history. But it is written that finally, he came here himself and told people how the rescue of each person could be worked out.

After being killed by his enemies, he returned to his friends. He told them to continue to tell people about him. The part that really made him different than others was that rising from the dead part.

Many would give us advice. Others would give us rules to live by. But one person offered a new relationship with God as our Father. Only one person showed all the attributes that we admire in someone. He was unselfish. He was kind. He was forgiving.

When he was asked this question.

“What shall we do, that we might work the works of God?”

He answered them, “This is the work of God,

that you believe on him whom he has sent.”

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